Well, this month marks the two year point for how long Kevin and I have been trying to conceive this time around. I just don't understand why I can't get pg. Yeah, I do have some things that could affect fertility, but I had surgery and I'm on meds for my low thyroid so neither of those should be a factor anymore. It's just so frustrating and at times I feel like Heavenly Father has abandoned me. So much fasting and prayers for us to have another child come to our home and yet it just doesn't happen. I know when I'm ovulating, we time things right, and still nothing. I know that Heavenly Father's timing is wiser than our own, but it doesn't make it any easier when it's such a righteous desire that is going unanswered/undelivered.
Today is also a hard day because it's the time frame of when I was miscarrying twins back in 2004. Tomorrow actually marks the anniversary of when I had to go to the ER because I was bleeding too much and had to have an emergency D&C and then a blood transfusion. It was actually on Mother's Day in that year. So, every year when it comes around Mother's Day, I get super emotional. Most of the time I don't even realize why I'm getting so emotional, then I stop and think about what day/time of year it is and then I know that it's because I'm missing my lost children.
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