Adoption Seminar

LDS Family Services used to do the adoption classes over 7 weeks, one-two hours on the same night each week. They've recently changed it to be an adoption seminar. Last Friday we were there from 9:30 am until 9pm at night. We learned about the adoption process, discussed the grieving/loss process (stages of grief -denial, anger, etc.), how that process relates to infertility, and then had a birth parent panel.

We learned that LDS Family services doesn't really push one way or the other about parenting or placing. They try to help the birth mothers to focus on what's best for the baby. Not all the birth mothers that come through LDSFS are LDS and may not have the mentality that having a child in a home where the parents have been sealed is best. They try to talk to them about what their plans are for the future. They do a timeline type thing of the future and if their baby doesn't fit into that plan, they help them to re-evaluate. Is it really best for the baby to be in home where there was a plan w/o them there? or is it better for them to be in a home that the plan would involve a baby. Some choose to parent in the end, others choose to place.

Birth mothers who have recently placed their baby for adoption came and spoke with us along with their mothers (birth grandmothers). One girl had recently turned 17 (16 when pregnant, gave birth and placed) and the other had recently turned 19 (18 when pregnant, gave birth, and placed). They both had different stories.

The younger one had actually chosen to parent at first. It was after her father blessed the baby that she had a strong prompting that the baby was not hers, that it belonged to another family that had been sealed as she could not do that. Her baby was three months old when she made the decision to place.

The older one chose to place along the process. She developed a pretty close relationship with the adoptive couple. She placed back in March, and even now, the adoptive couple is willing for her to come to their house when she wants.

Both of the girls were actually given that invitation about visiting. The thing that amazed me about both of them is that they are both able to realize they need to step back so that the adoptive couple will be able to be a family for the baby and also so that they can move on with their lives. They are able to show respect for the adoptive couple. That truly amazed me.

Another thing that amazed me was that the birth grandmothers seemed to have a harder time with it than the birth mothers did. I think it's probably because both of the birth mothers were prompted and knew what couple the baby was supposed to go to.

I definitely have a greater respect for birth mothers than I had previously. I mean, I had respect before, but after actually hearing a couple of their stories and feeling how strong the spirit was, it's just amazing.

On Saturday, we continued the seminar. There was an adoptive couples panel. One of them is actually in the process of adopting again. It was also neat to hear from their side. They also had promptings to let them know which birth mother that contacted them was the one carrying the baby that was for their family. It was really amazing.

Saturday also went into the legalities of adoption and we had a processing session of the day before. Then it was more of going over our making our profiles and such.

On Friday, during the birth mother panel, Kevin was able to receive the confirmation that adoption is what Heavenly Father wants us to do. He had been prompted to get the adoption application, but that was it. He said he was going through with it more because of me, but after that birth parent panel, he KNEW it was what we needed to do. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father gave him that confirmation.