I meant to write about this sooner, but things have been kinda busy around here.
So, this past Saturday, our family was running errands and we went out to lunch at Five Guys Burgers and Fries while we were out. Kevin pointed out a mom at the next table over that was wearing an autism awareness t-shirt. It made me smile since when Brandon was younger, I kinda wanted to get one of those. Then a little bit later, we started to hear some shrieking coming from that table. I just laughed and told Kevin that now we knew which child it was that had autism. He mentioned that just prior to the child shrieking, he had been flapping his hands -- a common way that children with autism self-stimulate.
At that point, I realized just how noisy the restaurant actually was and was telling Kevin that it was probably too loud for the poor kid. That brought my thoughts back to when Brandon was two. We invited the extended family out to Red Robin for his birthday celebration. At that point in time, we didn't know he had autism. We were perplexed as to why he wouldn't sit down and eat. It wasn't just the normal bounciness of young children. He was pacing the table and making loud noises. We had never seen him acting so strange. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, so looking back I can understand what was going on since we learned that he had autism. The restaurant was way too noisy for him. There were too many people, too much noise, and the lights were too bright for my little guy. He was majorly overstimulated and couldn't sit to eat, he needed to pace to cope with the sensory overload.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. The noise was not bothering him at all. He was sitting in his chair, eating his food, and being silly with Edward. I was just so amazed and so grateful that we were able to learn what was causing his odd behavior and that we were able to get him the help he needed so he can function so well now.
He still has times where he gets overstimulated and he'll shut down a bit now, but he's learned how to cope with it much easier.
Last night, we attended the Utah Symphony/Utah Opera's concert for families with children with autism. It was wonderful. A bit noisier and bouncier than other concerts we have attended, but it was so great to see all the children with autism enjoying a concert that they might not otherwise be able to attend due to their disability. Brandon loved being able to bounce during the William Tell Overture (as did a lot of the other children). Utah Symphony/Utah Opera put this on for free every year. They said that this was the 10th year they've done it and it was the first time we've attended it. Next year it'll be in January if any of you were wondering about next year's.
I'm very grateful for Brandon. His autism brings a new point of view on the world and I'm lucky to have been chosen to be his mother by a loving Heavenly Father.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Summer Regression
Every summer, I get to witness Brandon regress more into his autistic self than he is during the school year. The structure of school helps him so tremendously. I attempt to help him during the summer by doing school work stuff with him at home, yet without fail, he regresses.
He's back to being more non-verbal. We get a lot of grunting, screaming and whining. He'll come out of this for at least part of every day, using verbal language to really communicate. If anything upsets him, though, he goes back into the shell his autistic world provides him. I'm sure it provides some sort of protection for him, even though most of the time, it's not really necessary. It gets really tiring to listen to the tantrums that ensue just because I told him he needed to get dressed for the day or various other small things that shouldn't set him off, but do. It's not like I give in when he tantrums. Autistic tantrums are not the same thing as typical children's tantrums.
Typical children will tantrum, but will stop when they realize that it's not getting them what they wanted. Tantrums from an autistic child are nightmares. They don't end, there's not much a parent can do to help them stop. Brandon pretty much as to just work it out himself. All I can do is make sure he's in a safe area and let him be until he is able to finally calm down. On average they last about twenty minutes; sometimes much longer, sometimes less.
Brandon used to not functionally speak. He had words he would say, but they were just echolalia (repeating what we said). We did a therapy called floortime with him to help bring him out of himself into the rest of the world where communication is necessary. Through play, we helped him to recognize that words actually do have meaning. We would tickle him (something he loves) and then stop, waiting for some type of communication from him. Whether or not we would get that communication, we would start again and then stop, waiting once more. He would finally understand and start to make eye contact with a gleam when he wanted more, then we wouldn't accept that as enough to do it again, we requested words such as "more" or "again". It was amazing to see him come out of himself into our world.
Today was one of those days where he actually came into the real world, bring back floortime techniques. We were at Flip's Gym for Edward's class. Brandon was kinda grumpy about having to sit there and watch. He had hidden himself under a chair to try to hide that he was sucking on his finger (another regression thing). I playfully reached down and tickled him. He looked up at me with bright eyes and made a tickling motion with his fingers. I wasn't going to let him get away with just that since he's fully capable of full sentences now. I asked him where his words were. He kept making the tickling motion and eventually said, "Tickle me." Not a great sentence, but one all the same. I tickled him again and stopped. We did this back and forth over about ten minutes. At the end he was actually asking, "Can I have more tickles, please?"
He's capable of so much. Occassionally, we have amazing conversations. It's just so hard to pull him out of his little world to communicate more than a couple turns of conversation. I often wonder what goes on in his head and if he'll be able to function in society when he's grown. Will he be able to be one of the autists that are able to make a difference like Temple Grandin has done? I don't know and that is scary in some ways.
He's so close to being typical that most people can't tell that he has autism. Most of his autistic behavior happens at home. School still sees it, of course, since Spectrum really knows about autism, but the general public have no clue. This is great, but it can make it all the harder since others will expect more out of him than he may be able to give. Small things can set off the randomness that autism is. I'm so grateful to be chosen to raise this special child, to be trusted in helping him reach his full potential.
He's back to being more non-verbal. We get a lot of grunting, screaming and whining. He'll come out of this for at least part of every day, using verbal language to really communicate. If anything upsets him, though, he goes back into the shell his autistic world provides him. I'm sure it provides some sort of protection for him, even though most of the time, it's not really necessary. It gets really tiring to listen to the tantrums that ensue just because I told him he needed to get dressed for the day or various other small things that shouldn't set him off, but do. It's not like I give in when he tantrums. Autistic tantrums are not the same thing as typical children's tantrums.
Typical children will tantrum, but will stop when they realize that it's not getting them what they wanted. Tantrums from an autistic child are nightmares. They don't end, there's not much a parent can do to help them stop. Brandon pretty much as to just work it out himself. All I can do is make sure he's in a safe area and let him be until he is able to finally calm down. On average they last about twenty minutes; sometimes much longer, sometimes less.
Brandon used to not functionally speak. He had words he would say, but they were just echolalia (repeating what we said). We did a therapy called floortime with him to help bring him out of himself into the rest of the world where communication is necessary. Through play, we helped him to recognize that words actually do have meaning. We would tickle him (something he loves) and then stop, waiting for some type of communication from him. Whether or not we would get that communication, we would start again and then stop, waiting once more. He would finally understand and start to make eye contact with a gleam when he wanted more, then we wouldn't accept that as enough to do it again, we requested words such as "more" or "again". It was amazing to see him come out of himself into our world.
Today was one of those days where he actually came into the real world, bring back floortime techniques. We were at Flip's Gym for Edward's class. Brandon was kinda grumpy about having to sit there and watch. He had hidden himself under a chair to try to hide that he was sucking on his finger (another regression thing). I playfully reached down and tickled him. He looked up at me with bright eyes and made a tickling motion with his fingers. I wasn't going to let him get away with just that since he's fully capable of full sentences now. I asked him where his words were. He kept making the tickling motion and eventually said, "Tickle me." Not a great sentence, but one all the same. I tickled him again and stopped. We did this back and forth over about ten minutes. At the end he was actually asking, "Can I have more tickles, please?"
He's capable of so much. Occassionally, we have amazing conversations. It's just so hard to pull him out of his little world to communicate more than a couple turns of conversation. I often wonder what goes on in his head and if he'll be able to function in society when he's grown. Will he be able to be one of the autists that are able to make a difference like Temple Grandin has done? I don't know and that is scary in some ways.
He's so close to being typical that most people can't tell that he has autism. Most of his autistic behavior happens at home. School still sees it, of course, since Spectrum really knows about autism, but the general public have no clue. This is great, but it can make it all the harder since others will expect more out of him than he may be able to give. Small things can set off the randomness that autism is. I'm so grateful to be chosen to raise this special child, to be trusted in helping him reach his full potential.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
So, it begins
Kevin had stuck an envelope from LDS Family Services in my stocking this past Christmas. I was so excited as we had been trying for another little one for quite some time. Our recommends however lapsed and it took us awhile to get in to get them renewed. One thing or another always seemed to come up when we were planning on going in. Finally, we got them renewed. Having a current temple recommend is a requirement to be able to adopt through LDS Family Services.
At that point, I started hesitating. I had felt so strongly it was what Heavenly Father had wanted us to do, but then doubts started to enter my mind. So, we waited. The papers sat on our desk fully filled out just waiting for us to have the faith leap into the adoption process.
During a temple endowment session right before stake conference, I was again prompted that the way to add to our family was through adoption this time around. Again during the adult session of stake conference I received the prompting. I realized that we hadn't signed the papers yet. They were all filled out, but not signed. I kept asking Kevin look them over as up to that point it had only been me who had really read the info and filled out the forms. He kept forgetting.
I told him he needed to get it done before he left on his mini vacation. He of course waited until the night before he left to read over it and sign it. I mailed it off on Friday and it should be reaching the Centerville office the beginning of this week.
So, now the process begins. The process of doing an intake interview, the home study, adoption classes, and then waiting for a birth mother to choose us to adopt her child. I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants us to do. It's been three years this month since we started trying for another one. I never dreamed I would experience the pain of infertility. Just another lesson learned that what we have planned for our lives isn't always what Heavenly Father has planned.
Of course after having the faith to finally mail them in and take the leap into the adoption process, I began having doubts again today. During sacrament meeting today the autism that causes Brandon to think differently became a problem. I love that he thinks differently, but there are times that him thinking differently is a bad thing. He sees the world so differently than most of us. He has a really hard time seeing how others may possibly be seeing them. He will never back down when he thinks he's right. This will almost always lead to some sort of tantrum.
Today, it began with Edward laying his head down on my lap. Doesn't seem like a problem, right? Well, it was, because his head was slightly over my lap and barely touching Brandon's leg. That was just not right for Brandon. He started to complain about it. Trying to keep him from esclating to one of his tantrums, I nicely told him to scoot over. We had an entire center pew to ourselves, so there was plenty of room for him to scoot over. He of course, refused, because he was right. Ed's head should not be touching him at all. So, again, trying to stop it from escalating, I scooted Ed and me over the other way. Brandon of course had to be close to me, so he scooted closer. Guess what?? That meant Ed's head was once again touching his leg! ARGH! So, I spent the majority of Sacrament meeting trying to keep Ed on one side of me (easy to do, he didn't want Brandon to touch him), and Brandon on the other side (very difficult, as he was now in full blown mode of being right and would only do what his brain told him was the right thing, which was to bother Ed since Ed had bothered him).
Of course I'm not sure what really goes through Brandon's head. I just see it from the outside. He views things so differently that it's hard for me to even fathom what he's actually thinking in situations like this.
Ganel-Lyn was a life saver to me today. She came over right after Brandon finally broke through and tackled Ed. I was pulling them apart when she came and asked if Ed would like to go sit with them. He of course wanted to get away from Brandon and thought it was a great idea. I pulled Brandon out into the hall after that and attempted to get him to sit. He's just too big and strong now for me to get him to calm down the ways I used to. He just fights it every step of the way until, in his mind, he wins. He ran from me, and ran into the other entrance to the chapel, back into our pew. Ed was then safe at that point, so I just ignored Brandon. I took my time, went and got a drink, and came back to sit down. I ignored Brandon's antics. He then left the chapel, either to use the restroom or get a drink; I'm not sure. When he came back, he was back to normal, good natured Brandon. He asked to color and was well behaved the rest of the time.
Something just gets into his head and he has to win. Once he wins, he's able to return to being "normal". We have so much less episodes like this now than when he was younger, thank goodness. We have worked hard to help him learn how to adapt to typical society, but the autism wins out every now and then. When it does, that is when I start doubting bringing another child into our family. Yet, even as I type, I receive a strong affirmation from the Spirit that we are supposed to adopt. It feels great to know that we are following the plan Heavenly Father has for us, even though it is not the plan we had envisioned.
At that point, I started hesitating. I had felt so strongly it was what Heavenly Father had wanted us to do, but then doubts started to enter my mind. So, we waited. The papers sat on our desk fully filled out just waiting for us to have the faith leap into the adoption process.
During a temple endowment session right before stake conference, I was again prompted that the way to add to our family was through adoption this time around. Again during the adult session of stake conference I received the prompting. I realized that we hadn't signed the papers yet. They were all filled out, but not signed. I kept asking Kevin look them over as up to that point it had only been me who had really read the info and filled out the forms. He kept forgetting.
I told him he needed to get it done before he left on his mini vacation. He of course waited until the night before he left to read over it and sign it. I mailed it off on Friday and it should be reaching the Centerville office the beginning of this week.
So, now the process begins. The process of doing an intake interview, the home study, adoption classes, and then waiting for a birth mother to choose us to adopt her child. I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants us to do. It's been three years this month since we started trying for another one. I never dreamed I would experience the pain of infertility. Just another lesson learned that what we have planned for our lives isn't always what Heavenly Father has planned.
Of course after having the faith to finally mail them in and take the leap into the adoption process, I began having doubts again today. During sacrament meeting today the autism that causes Brandon to think differently became a problem. I love that he thinks differently, but there are times that him thinking differently is a bad thing. He sees the world so differently than most of us. He has a really hard time seeing how others may possibly be seeing them. He will never back down when he thinks he's right. This will almost always lead to some sort of tantrum.
Today, it began with Edward laying his head down on my lap. Doesn't seem like a problem, right? Well, it was, because his head was slightly over my lap and barely touching Brandon's leg. That was just not right for Brandon. He started to complain about it. Trying to keep him from esclating to one of his tantrums, I nicely told him to scoot over. We had an entire center pew to ourselves, so there was plenty of room for him to scoot over. He of course, refused, because he was right. Ed's head should not be touching him at all. So, again, trying to stop it from escalating, I scooted Ed and me over the other way. Brandon of course had to be close to me, so he scooted closer. Guess what?? That meant Ed's head was once again touching his leg! ARGH! So, I spent the majority of Sacrament meeting trying to keep Ed on one side of me (easy to do, he didn't want Brandon to touch him), and Brandon on the other side (very difficult, as he was now in full blown mode of being right and would only do what his brain told him was the right thing, which was to bother Ed since Ed had bothered him).
Of course I'm not sure what really goes through Brandon's head. I just see it from the outside. He views things so differently that it's hard for me to even fathom what he's actually thinking in situations like this.
Ganel-Lyn was a life saver to me today. She came over right after Brandon finally broke through and tackled Ed. I was pulling them apart when she came and asked if Ed would like to go sit with them. He of course wanted to get away from Brandon and thought it was a great idea. I pulled Brandon out into the hall after that and attempted to get him to sit. He's just too big and strong now for me to get him to calm down the ways I used to. He just fights it every step of the way until, in his mind, he wins. He ran from me, and ran into the other entrance to the chapel, back into our pew. Ed was then safe at that point, so I just ignored Brandon. I took my time, went and got a drink, and came back to sit down. I ignored Brandon's antics. He then left the chapel, either to use the restroom or get a drink; I'm not sure. When he came back, he was back to normal, good natured Brandon. He asked to color and was well behaved the rest of the time.
Something just gets into his head and he has to win. Once he wins, he's able to return to being "normal". We have so much less episodes like this now than when he was younger, thank goodness. We have worked hard to help him learn how to adapt to typical society, but the autism wins out every now and then. When it does, that is when I start doubting bringing another child into our family. Yet, even as I type, I receive a strong affirmation from the Spirit that we are supposed to adopt. It feels great to know that we are following the plan Heavenly Father has for us, even though it is not the plan we had envisioned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)