Clomid is not fun

So, today is day four of clomid. This is my first time taking it, but after almost two years of infertility, having all sorts of tests done and surgery, I figured might as well give it a try. I have short luteal phase (the time between when you ovulate and when your period (AF) arrives). It should be 14 days, but mine is usually 10 days, sometimes 12 if I'm lucky. If it's too short than it can prevent you from getting pregnant. Having a stronger ovulation due to clomid should help to increase my luteal phase. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

I've been getting daily severe headaches since I started taking this, which in turn makes me extremely grumpy. I just hope this works because I don't know what I'll be like on a higher dose if it doesn't work this cycle.

So I'm kinda weird and I usually check to see when I'd be due if I happen to get pregnant. I put in my lmp in the calendar thing at WebMD and found out that I'll be due December 22nd if I happen to conceive this cycle using the clomid.

The weird thing about that is that I miscarried twins in 2004. The due date based on lmp was December 21st. At that time I had received a priesthood blessing and was told that I would have more children and that I'd be able to raise the ones I lost. For me, the impression came that it'd be in this life that I'd be able to raise them, not in the one to come. So, with me being on clomid which increases the chance of twins and the due date being so close to what it had been had I not miscarried the twins, makes me wonder if perhaps, I'll get pregnant with twins. Of course it's all just random speculation at this point, but it'd be pretty funny to me if it happened. Kinda deja vu type of thing.

I think I'm finally getting there

Well, after getting off of the anti-depressants and really, really, really trying hard, I think I'm finally starting to feel more comfortable up here. I feel I'm starting to make friends and feel like I'm kinda fitting it. I actually found someone else in the ward that CD's. So totally amazing to me. I was feeling really "different and weird" when listening to others chatting and it being so very mainstream, so it was refreshing to find another CDer (even if she only uses BGOS). I'm sure the warmer weather and the fact I'm actually trying to exercise more is helping my mood as well. Goodbye SAD! -- well, until next winter.

On another front, Brandon got into Spectrum Academy! I'm so totally thrilled about that. Now I know he'll be able to get the support he needs in school without getting lost in the crowd. I told him that he'd be going to a new school in the fall and he's not completely understanding what that means. Every school day this week he's been asking me which school he's going to. I keep trying to explain to him that he won't be going to the new school until after summer break, but he just doesn't understand that.

He does, however, understand road signs! Well, enough to know what some mean and to ask me what every. single. sign. he doesn't know means. One of his quirky things. It's an obsession that drives me batty some days. Other days I can handle it and just tell him.