Monday, February 21, 2011

Incredibly blessed

This past weekend was kind of a whirlwind for us. Before I get into the details of the whirlwind, I need to share some background information. About three weeks ago a friend of mine that lives in Ogden contacted me through yahoo messenger. She asked me how we felt about adopting twins. I told her that we would love to adopt twins. She then proceeded to tell me about her friend's brother's girlfriend who was starting to considering placing her twin girls for adoption. I told her to pass along one of cards and that was that. I talked with her right before fast Sunday, so I chose to fast for her and that if these babies were meant to come to our home that she would be drawn to us.

Weeks passed and we heard nothing. Since she was due in April, I wasn't too concerned, but it's always nice to hear back on a potential adoption lead. I continued to pray for her.

This past Wednesday, my friend asked me if we'd heard anything yet. She had asked her friend and as far as she knew the expectant mother hadn't decided for certain on placing. Then Thursday night rolls around and the expectant mother emails us. She said that she wants her girls to go to a good home and she almost cried when she saw our picture on the card because we look like such a great family. I got the email Friday morning after my boys were at school. My heart was full of so much joy. I immediately contacted my caseworker to let her know she gave me pointers in how to respond. I then proceeded to let my friends in FSA know about the situation and ask for them to pray for us.

My caseworker emailed me back as I was writing a response. I changed a few things and sent the email. I knew from my friend that the expectant mother didn't have a job so I sat around waiting for a response all day. It was torture waiting, wondering if she'd want to meet us. Luckily, I got to have a slight distraction by going on a lunch date with my wonderful husband. We were both in shock that a potential birth mother had actually contacted us. I finally got an email back right around dinner time.

Her name is Kendra and she said that she'd love to meet us and the boys. She told me that she's 24 and has a three year old son who is being cared for by her mother. She told me she that she's due April 16th, and that she's 32 weeks pregnant and that she's already had shots to stop contractions, so it could be soon. She told me about upcoming ultrasound appointments and that she'd give us everything she has for the girls even though it's not much. She then gave me her phone number and told me to text her first so she'd know what the number was. Since it was dinner time I didn't call her right then. I then went to Relief Society after dinner and knew I wouldn't be calling her when I got back from that.

I had a fun time at Relief Society and let the women there know about the possibility. I emailed my caseworker to let her know we'd gotten a response and that she wanted to meet us when I got home from Relief Society. I told her that it seems like she already has her mind set on us by the things she said, but she hadn't gave a definite "I want to place my twin girls with your family".

Saturday morning, we went to the church for Brandon's baptism preview. Once we were home, it took me awhile to get enough courage to call Kendra. It was around 11:30am when I called and she had just woken up from a nap. She was still a little groggy, but when I asked her if she wanted to meet up, she told me that she just needed to shower and then could do so. I had been thinking dinner at the earliest or maybe this week sometime. She must have felt the need to meet us asap,so we met for lunch at 1pm at a Denny's, her choice.

It was great to actually meet her. We talked about her interests, her plans for the future, then we moved into more adoption related stuff. We let her know that we were comfortable with an open adoption as much as she was. If she's okay with visits at a neutral place, we are fine with that, if that makes her uncomfortable, we won't push it. She said she wants at least pictures so she can make sure they are doing well. She kept saying she wants them to go to a good home, but once again she hadn't said that she wanted to place with us. She was implying it, but I wanted to be sure.

The Denny's had a crane machine and the boys wanted to try it out. I happened to actually have some quarters with me, so Kevin went over to help them with the game which left Kendra and me alone at the table. I asked her if she felt comfortable with us. She told me that she did and that her friends had introduced her to other adoptive couples and none of them felt right. She told me that one of these other couples even had the audacity to tell her that they'd be willing to adopt one of the girls. She told me she just looked at them thinking, "Ummm, hello, there's two of them in there." So, at that point I knew that she was serious about placing her sweet twin girls with us. Soon after that we were finished with eating and it was time for us to part ways. I asked her if I could hug her and she said yes. I thanked her and she thanked us for being willing to take care of her girls. She invited me to her next ultrasound appointment on March 2nd.

On our drive home, Kevin and I were in a state of shock. A beautiful birth mom had actually chosen us to place twin girls with. It's amazing. Heavenly Father has truly blessed us. I had a feeling we'd have twins and at least one would be a girl. When I had miscarried twins in between Brandon and Edward I had the distinct impression that I would still get to raise those twins in this life. I later had a dream about them and they were girls. Of course at the time I just assumed that I'd get pregnant with twins again. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought they would come to our family through adoption.

The birth father of these twin girls is of Irish decent with blond hair and blue eyes, and Kendra's son has blond hair, so it's quite possible that these sweet little girls will fit in with our family in regards to how they look. It's really all amazing and Heavenly Father is so good to us. His plan is always grander than our own even when we can't see it. I have grown much through this and I am grateful to have had the trial of infertility and waiting to adopt. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's the path we had to take to have these sweet girls come to our home.

I'm looking forward to seeing them via ultrasound in a little over a week. It's so incredibly amazing.

3 comments:

Hope said...

Tami, your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm not very good at commenting on blogs, but I want you to know I read every post and have felt compassion for what you have gone through. It has been a challenging journey, but I've always admired your faith to endure. This is an exciting development. Please post soon any updates! Love, Hope

Kami said...

How exciting!!! You have been waiting a long time for this blessing. I hope things go smoothly from here! We will be praying for you.

LyndiLou said...

I'm with hope and this totally made me teary too! Congratulations! This is SO completely exciting and I'm very very happy for you! My sister had twins and it's quite the adventure. I love that you were fasting and praying for her before you even met her. You're a great example and I'm glad that you're going to have such lovely additions to your family!