When we started our adoption journey, we had to attend adoption classes that our agency had. One of the things that was discussed was open adoption. That means many different things to different people. At the time, it kinda freaked Kevin and I out. We had the image of the birth mother coming and kidnapping the baby or other such crazy ideas in our head. We most definitely had the Lifetime movie version of adoption. Not real at all.
The longer we waited, the more I read about openess in adoption and what it really means. I learned that it's actually better for all involved. It's better for the birth parents to be able to heal and know that their baby will be able to know with a surety that they really do love them. It's better for the adopted child to know that love and to know that they were adopted. It's better for the adoptive parents to have a relationship with the birth parents because of the great gift that is being given that will forever tie your adopted child to their birth parents.
Imagine being an adopted child and never knowing until you were an adult. Can you imagine the identity crisis that would occur? Wondering where you came from and why your birth parents didn't want you? Even gaining access to who your birth parents are would be a nightmare in a lot of cases. Then once you had contact info for them, what if they didn't want to meet you? Wouldn't that be heart breaking?
On the other hand imagine being an adopted child and always knowing you were adopted. You would always know that your birth parents loved you and because they loved you so much they wanted more for you than they would be able to provide. Because of this they hand picked who your parents would be. In some cases, open adoption means having your birth parents in your life as you grow up. Your birth parents wouldn't be your parents, they would take on a role of a favorite aunt or uncle, but would always be there for you. Isn't that a much nicer image? Having the love of both your birth parents and your adoptive parents in your life from day one?
Kevin and I warmed up to an open adoption as we waited for two years from the time we put in our papers to the time placement occurred. We realized it was best to have an open adoption. Once we actually met our girls birth mother, there was no way we could even consider having something other than an open adoption. We love her so much. She has given us the most amazing gift and she's always trying to make sure things are easy on us. Medicare had sent her cards for the girls past when she told them they would be off of it. She texted me to let me know she needed to talk to me and to call her when I could. She was so worried it would cause problems for us. It ended up being Medicare just wanted the girls covered for sure for a couple months in case there were any problems with our insurance. She was going to pump breastmilk for the girls, but her body didn't cooperate with her and she was devastated.
We are okay with her seeing the girls. She hasn't asked yet, and I'm not sure she will. I'm pretty sure she'll just wait for us to ask if she wants to see them. This isn't even scary to us because there is so much love for her and for her boyfriend. We trust her and know she wants what's best for the girls. I am so amazed by her courage and devotion to these girls. We formed a bond that will not be broken with time. It might change a bit as time goes on, but it'll always be there. Open adoption isn't scary, it's a blessing.
For us, open adoption means, we still text with the girls birth mother. We still talk to her on the phone. We still email her. We send her pictures of the girls. We plan on seeing her again. For others, it might be just email and pictures, but the communication is always there. I couldn't imagine having anything other than an open adoption.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
The first week
Back on March 20th, I taught the lesson for our primary class. It was on the Savior teaching about prayer. In the lesson it stressed the importance of the students learning that prayers are ALWAYS answered. Not always the answer we want, nor the timing, but they are always answered. I shared with our class the personal desire of Kevin and I in wanting to add to our family and having been unable to we were led to adoption. I told them that our prayers were finally being answered and that we would soon have two girls in our family. I told them it had been years since we had wanted to have more children in our family. One of them asked how many years and I told them that we decided we wanted to add to our family just before Ed's first birthday and that he'll be six this year. They looked at me completely shocked. The thought had never occurred to them that it could take that long for a prayer to be answered. I bore testimony that prayers are always answered. I hope it struck a chord with them to know that no matter how long it takes, their prayers will be answered.
It was surreal driving home from the hospital. Just knowing that our girls that we had waited and prayed for so long for were actually here and in the car with us was amazing. We felt a lot of love for the girls and for our loving Heavenly Father.
We had to stop off at the agency on the way home to pay the adoption fees. The secretary had to come out and see our precious angels. She congratulated us and then we went on our way.
As we pulled into the driveway, we saw our boys riding their bikes and scooters while Grandma watched while sitting on the grass. As soon as they saw us, the boys rushed over to the van. I put Ed up on the foot plate of the van so he could see the girls. I told him he couldn't touch, but he could see them. He was so excited. Then it was Brandon's turn. He had the look of pure amazement on his face. He loves his sisters so much.
The girls had a doctor's appointment this past Tuesday to make sure they were gaining weight. They hadn't been eating too much in the hospital and they wanted to make sure they didn't lose too much. Emma had actually gained weight above her birth weight, she was 5lbs 3oz and Ellie was almost to her birth weight. Not too bad for it only being a few days since they came home from the hospital.
The week has been tiring with them waking every 2-3 hours, but it's been so worth it. I feel truly blessed. The boys love helping out where they can. Ed's been a little sad that I don't have as much time to snuggle with him, but he's adjusting well. They are definitely our precious little angels.
It was surreal driving home from the hospital. Just knowing that our girls that we had waited and prayed for so long for were actually here and in the car with us was amazing. We felt a lot of love for the girls and for our loving Heavenly Father.
We had to stop off at the agency on the way home to pay the adoption fees. The secretary had to come out and see our precious angels. She congratulated us and then we went on our way.
As we pulled into the driveway, we saw our boys riding their bikes and scooters while Grandma watched while sitting on the grass. As soon as they saw us, the boys rushed over to the van. I put Ed up on the foot plate of the van so he could see the girls. I told him he couldn't touch, but he could see them. He was so excited. Then it was Brandon's turn. He had the look of pure amazement on his face. He loves his sisters so much.
The girls had a doctor's appointment this past Tuesday to make sure they were gaining weight. They hadn't been eating too much in the hospital and they wanted to make sure they didn't lose too much. Emma had actually gained weight above her birth weight, she was 5lbs 3oz and Ellie was almost to her birth weight. Not too bad for it only being a few days since they came home from the hospital.
The week has been tiring with them waking every 2-3 hours, but it's been so worth it. I feel truly blessed. The boys love helping out where they can. Ed's been a little sad that I don't have as much time to snuggle with him, but he's adjusting well. They are definitely our precious little angels.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
How my girls came to our family
It's been a whirlwind of emotions the past couple of weeks. Let's start back at the day before Brandon's baptism. I texted our birth mom just to check in on how she was doing and to see if her truck got fixed. Earlier in the week, she had missed an OB appointment because both her and her boyfriend's trucks were broke down. I never got a response. I was kinda bummed, but didn't worry too much about it. Especially, not with Brandon's baptism the next day.
By Sunday afternoon (the 27th), I still hadn't heard from her, so I sent her another text asking her if she needed a ride to her OB appointment the next day. Once again, nothing. That evening I texted her again letting her know that if I didn't hear from her that night, I'd call in the morning to make sure she would be able to get to her appointment. I also started to panic a bit. Lack of communication from a potential birth mom can mean that they are having second thoughts about placing. I sobbed and sobbed just thinking about such a possibility after waiting so long for this. I sent out messages to my friends asking for prayers. I didn't update all of facebook about the situation, though. I also sent an email to our caseworker letting her know of the lack of communication.
The next morning I was still really down about it all. I posted on facebook that it'd be a really long week for more than one reason. I called our birth mom around 10:00am and got her voicemail. I left a message, but was devastated at that point because it seemed that she was ignoring me.
Finally, around noon, I received a text from her. Apparently, text messaging isn't all it's cracked up to be. She just barely got all the texts I had sent from Friday and Sunday. So, there I had been sobbing and in the depths of despair when she just hadn't received the messages in the first place. That simple text changed my whole outlook on the day. Amazing.
I asked her once again if she needed a ride and she told me that they got her boyfriend's truck working. She also told me that she was going to skip the OB appointment and just go straight to the hospital. She was having a lot of pain and since she was past 37 weeks, she was going to see if they would induce her. At that point we still thought both girls were head down.
I waited and waited and finally texted her that I was on pins and needles waiting to see if they'd induce her. At that point she had actually just gotten to the hospital. A bit later she texted me and told me that twin B had flipped and was now head up. Because of that, they would not induce her. They were waiting to hear back from her OB to see if they could do a c-section right then or to schedule one.
Finally, word came back that they were sending her home with a prescription for lortab for the pain and the c-section was scheduled for Sunday, April 3rd.
It was at that point that I realized what a crazy emotional roller coaster of a day it had been. I had gone from sobbing, to relieved, to hopeful, to disappointed all in the matter of my waking hours. I was most definitely emotionally exhausted.
Tuesday, March 29th rolls around and I'm just going about my business of organizing things, doing laundry and such when I get a text from our birth mom that she was having labor contractions, but the hospital wanted her to stay home for now. Apparently, they weren't close enough together for them to worry about it. I didn't think much of it since she had been having contractions off and on for a long time.
Then, it happened. My home phone rang and after a couple rings, my cell phone rang. That could only mean one thing, our birth mom was calling us. I picked up the phone and sure enough, it was our birth mom. She was at the pharmacy trying to fill her prescription for lortab when she realized that the contractions were getting worse and she was going to go to the hospital. [For those who don't understand the phone thing: we had given our birth mom a google voice number. That way, she would always be able to reach us. With google voice numbers you can set it up to ring multiple phones when someone calls you using that number. We had tested it out before and found that it rings the home phone first and then the cell. Since we really hadn't given that number out to others, I knew this was it.]
I messaged Kevin on yahoo instant messenger which he always has up at work. I told him that our birth mom was in labor and that he needed to come home now. He asked me if I was sure. I told him that I was and so he came. While he was coming home, I was busy gathering everything up and taking it out to the car. Thank goodness I had installed the car seats the day before. I then called the person who had said I could call at anytime to take the boys only to discover there was no answer. I then had to figure out who else to call that could pick the boys up from school.
We finally got it all situated and were on our way to the hospital. Unfortunately, by the time we made it there, they had already taken her back for her c-section. Her boyfriend who did not want to be in the room, was forced to be there and I missed being there during the c-section. I was disappointed, but still happy that our girls would be arriving that day.
The hospital social worker came and visited with us. She told us that if we needed something to eat, now was the time to do so and that we had time before she would be out of surgery. Apparently, we didn't have enough time. We brought the food back up to the L&D floor only to find our birth mom's boyfriend there looking for us. We set down our food in a room the nurses told us we could and we went back to visit with our birth mom.
After a little bit, they brought our girls to us. We finally got to meet our little girls after so long of waiting for them. They are simple beautiful and we love them so much. I can hardly believe they are with us. Emma Noelle was born first and weighed 5lbs even. Ellie Jayne came next and weighed 5lbs 6oz.
Our birth mom's mom was there and she was sad, but happy. We asked her if she wanted to hold the girls and she told us she couldn't. She was afraid of getting too attached to the girls. She knew that as hard as it was, it was best for them to be placed with us. What a brave grandma for knowing she wouldn't be able to handle holding the sweet babies.
The hospital provided a room for us next door to our birth mom's room. We had the girls in our room most of the time during the hospital stay. We would take the girls over our birth mom's room to visit with her and her family. I do have to say that the hospital pull out couch/bed is only slightly better to sleep on than the floor would have been.
Finally, the day arrived when the doctors said that we could be discharged the next day (Friday, April 1st). Our birth mom planned to sign relinquishment at 10:00am and a caseworker would be there at 10:30 for us to sign. It wasn't our caseworker as our caseworker actually had another placement to be at that morning, but we had already met this caseworker before. After all the papers were signed by both parties, we went in to see our birth mom and give her the gifts we had gotten for her.
I first gave her the Build a Bears that the boys had made for her. She loved them. Then I gave her the blanket I made for her. I most definitely chose the right fabric as she loved the Super Girl fabric and was excited that it was soft on the back. I hope she's enjoying it now while she recovers. Lastly, I gave her the scrapbook album to assure her we would be sending her photos.
I'm so very grateful for our birth mom and have so much love and respect for her. Her OB came and spoke to us at one point during the hospital stay and we asked him how she was doing emotionally as far as he could tell. He said that she was doing amazing. He told us that when she first started coming to him for this pregnancy, he was really worried about her. Then once she made the decision to place for adoption, things started to look much better.
The caseworkers for both sides kept mentioning how smoothly this adoption had gone and that they've never seen it where neither the adoptive couple nor birth mother weren't panicking/stressed. I know that Heavenly Father played a hand in this adoption. The girls are meant to be in our family. Without him, I'm not sure things would have worked out quite so perfectly.
More to come on how things have been since we've had the girls home...
By Sunday afternoon (the 27th), I still hadn't heard from her, so I sent her another text asking her if she needed a ride to her OB appointment the next day. Once again, nothing. That evening I texted her again letting her know that if I didn't hear from her that night, I'd call in the morning to make sure she would be able to get to her appointment. I also started to panic a bit. Lack of communication from a potential birth mom can mean that they are having second thoughts about placing. I sobbed and sobbed just thinking about such a possibility after waiting so long for this. I sent out messages to my friends asking for prayers. I didn't update all of facebook about the situation, though. I also sent an email to our caseworker letting her know of the lack of communication.
The next morning I was still really down about it all. I posted on facebook that it'd be a really long week for more than one reason. I called our birth mom around 10:00am and got her voicemail. I left a message, but was devastated at that point because it seemed that she was ignoring me.
Finally, around noon, I received a text from her. Apparently, text messaging isn't all it's cracked up to be. She just barely got all the texts I had sent from Friday and Sunday. So, there I had been sobbing and in the depths of despair when she just hadn't received the messages in the first place. That simple text changed my whole outlook on the day. Amazing.
I asked her once again if she needed a ride and she told me that they got her boyfriend's truck working. She also told me that she was going to skip the OB appointment and just go straight to the hospital. She was having a lot of pain and since she was past 37 weeks, she was going to see if they would induce her. At that point we still thought both girls were head down.
I waited and waited and finally texted her that I was on pins and needles waiting to see if they'd induce her. At that point she had actually just gotten to the hospital. A bit later she texted me and told me that twin B had flipped and was now head up. Because of that, they would not induce her. They were waiting to hear back from her OB to see if they could do a c-section right then or to schedule one.
Finally, word came back that they were sending her home with a prescription for lortab for the pain and the c-section was scheduled for Sunday, April 3rd.
It was at that point that I realized what a crazy emotional roller coaster of a day it had been. I had gone from sobbing, to relieved, to hopeful, to disappointed all in the matter of my waking hours. I was most definitely emotionally exhausted.
Tuesday, March 29th rolls around and I'm just going about my business of organizing things, doing laundry and such when I get a text from our birth mom that she was having labor contractions, but the hospital wanted her to stay home for now. Apparently, they weren't close enough together for them to worry about it. I didn't think much of it since she had been having contractions off and on for a long time.
Then, it happened. My home phone rang and after a couple rings, my cell phone rang. That could only mean one thing, our birth mom was calling us. I picked up the phone and sure enough, it was our birth mom. She was at the pharmacy trying to fill her prescription for lortab when she realized that the contractions were getting worse and she was going to go to the hospital. [For those who don't understand the phone thing: we had given our birth mom a google voice number. That way, she would always be able to reach us. With google voice numbers you can set it up to ring multiple phones when someone calls you using that number. We had tested it out before and found that it rings the home phone first and then the cell. Since we really hadn't given that number out to others, I knew this was it.]
I messaged Kevin on yahoo instant messenger which he always has up at work. I told him that our birth mom was in labor and that he needed to come home now. He asked me if I was sure. I told him that I was and so he came. While he was coming home, I was busy gathering everything up and taking it out to the car. Thank goodness I had installed the car seats the day before. I then called the person who had said I could call at anytime to take the boys only to discover there was no answer. I then had to figure out who else to call that could pick the boys up from school.
We finally got it all situated and were on our way to the hospital. Unfortunately, by the time we made it there, they had already taken her back for her c-section. Her boyfriend who did not want to be in the room, was forced to be there and I missed being there during the c-section. I was disappointed, but still happy that our girls would be arriving that day.
The hospital social worker came and visited with us. She told us that if we needed something to eat, now was the time to do so and that we had time before she would be out of surgery. Apparently, we didn't have enough time. We brought the food back up to the L&D floor only to find our birth mom's boyfriend there looking for us. We set down our food in a room the nurses told us we could and we went back to visit with our birth mom.
After a little bit, they brought our girls to us. We finally got to meet our little girls after so long of waiting for them. They are simple beautiful and we love them so much. I can hardly believe they are with us. Emma Noelle was born first and weighed 5lbs even. Ellie Jayne came next and weighed 5lbs 6oz.
Our birth mom's mom was there and she was sad, but happy. We asked her if she wanted to hold the girls and she told us she couldn't. She was afraid of getting too attached to the girls. She knew that as hard as it was, it was best for them to be placed with us. What a brave grandma for knowing she wouldn't be able to handle holding the sweet babies.
The hospital provided a room for us next door to our birth mom's room. We had the girls in our room most of the time during the hospital stay. We would take the girls over our birth mom's room to visit with her and her family. I do have to say that the hospital pull out couch/bed is only slightly better to sleep on than the floor would have been.
Finally, the day arrived when the doctors said that we could be discharged the next day (Friday, April 1st). Our birth mom planned to sign relinquishment at 10:00am and a caseworker would be there at 10:30 for us to sign. It wasn't our caseworker as our caseworker actually had another placement to be at that morning, but we had already met this caseworker before. After all the papers were signed by both parties, we went in to see our birth mom and give her the gifts we had gotten for her.
I first gave her the Build a Bears that the boys had made for her. She loved them. Then I gave her the blanket I made for her. I most definitely chose the right fabric as she loved the Super Girl fabric and was excited that it was soft on the back. I hope she's enjoying it now while she recovers. Lastly, I gave her the scrapbook album to assure her we would be sending her photos.
I'm so very grateful for our birth mom and have so much love and respect for her. Her OB came and spoke to us at one point during the hospital stay and we asked him how she was doing emotionally as far as he could tell. He said that she was doing amazing. He told us that when she first started coming to him for this pregnancy, he was really worried about her. Then once she made the decision to place for adoption, things started to look much better.
The caseworkers for both sides kept mentioning how smoothly this adoption had gone and that they've never seen it where neither the adoptive couple nor birth mother weren't panicking/stressed. I know that Heavenly Father played a hand in this adoption. The girls are meant to be in our family. Without him, I'm not sure things would have worked out quite so perfectly.
More to come on how things have been since we've had the girls home...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Brandon's baptism
This morning my wonderful boy was baptized. It's surreal knowing that I have an eight year old. The baptism was beautiful and I cried lots of tears during the confirmation. I am so proud of my sweet boy and know that he knows he made the right choice and that he was able to feel the Spirit. He is a very special boy and he sees the world in a way others don't. We are very blessed to be his parents.
Now that the baptism is over, I can also breathe a sigh of relief that the girls decided to stay put and not mess up their soon to be big brother's big day. We got through all the stuff we had to get through and now we just wait some more for them to arrive. They'll be with us within a week, most likely.
Heavenly Father is so good to us. He hears our prayers and knew that it wouldn't work out well if the girls came just before or during Brandon's baptism. We are truly grateful that He allowed Brandon to have his special day before the girls arrived. This way it's his day and not getting pushed to the side like I was worried about if we had to reschedule.
Now that the baptism is over, I can also breathe a sigh of relief that the girls decided to stay put and not mess up their soon to be big brother's big day. We got through all the stuff we had to get through and now we just wait some more for them to arrive. They'll be with us within a week, most likely.
Heavenly Father is so good to us. He hears our prayers and knew that it wouldn't work out well if the girls came just before or during Brandon's baptism. We are truly grateful that He allowed Brandon to have his special day before the girls arrived. This way it's his day and not getting pushed to the side like I was worried about if we had to reschedule.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Still Waiting
We bought carseats, an extra crib, girly crib bedding, and preemie prefolds/covers. Then we moved the changing table dresser downstairs and got the nursery all ready. Since then we've been waiting and waiting and waiting. We are still waiting for the girls to arrive.
We were so prepared for them to be born early in the next few weeks after meeting Kendra that it feels like it's been longer than it has. It's been just over a month since we met Kendra and learned that she wanted to place the twins with our family. It won't be too much longer before they join our family,though. She will be induced in a couple weeks if they haven't come on their own. Her OB told her that they won't let her go over 38 weeks, so I assume that means she'd actually be induced next week sometime as she'll be 37 weeks on Saturday.
It's so strange to have to continue life as normal knowing that we could change any plans we have real quick. I'm scheduled to volunteer at the Scrapbook Expo this Friday to earn volunteer hours at Spectrum. I volunteered to do it with the stipulation I might have to cancel at the last minute. Then Brandon's baptism is Saturday morning. That may end up being rescheduled depending on when the twins decide to be born. At this point, I hope they decide to stay in until after Brandon's baptism. It's too close for comfort for them to be born before. I'm not sure how Brandon would feel having to have it rescheduled. He had a meltdown when I had tried asking him about possibly changing it before. Let's hope it'll all work out.
It's really amazing that Kendra was having preterm labor and had to get shots to stop her labor and now that it's okay for them to be born, they have decided to stay put. Pretty ironic, but I've heard it's actually pretty common. So, for the time being, we are still waiting...
Oh and in case you didn't notice, I created a guess when the twins will be born thing. It's on the right hand side of the blog under our picture. Click it and make your guess.
We were so prepared for them to be born early in the next few weeks after meeting Kendra that it feels like it's been longer than it has. It's been just over a month since we met Kendra and learned that she wanted to place the twins with our family. It won't be too much longer before they join our family,though. She will be induced in a couple weeks if they haven't come on their own. Her OB told her that they won't let her go over 38 weeks, so I assume that means she'd actually be induced next week sometime as she'll be 37 weeks on Saturday.
It's so strange to have to continue life as normal knowing that we could change any plans we have real quick. I'm scheduled to volunteer at the Scrapbook Expo this Friday to earn volunteer hours at Spectrum. I volunteered to do it with the stipulation I might have to cancel at the last minute. Then Brandon's baptism is Saturday morning. That may end up being rescheduled depending on when the twins decide to be born. At this point, I hope they decide to stay in until after Brandon's baptism. It's too close for comfort for them to be born before. I'm not sure how Brandon would feel having to have it rescheduled. He had a meltdown when I had tried asking him about possibly changing it before. Let's hope it'll all work out.
It's really amazing that Kendra was having preterm labor and had to get shots to stop her labor and now that it's okay for them to be born, they have decided to stay put. Pretty ironic, but I've heard it's actually pretty common. So, for the time being, we are still waiting...
Oh and in case you didn't notice, I created a guess when the twins will be born thing. It's on the right hand side of the blog under our picture. Click it and make your guess.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Two sweet girls and their birth mother
As we continue our journey of adoption after being matched, I am continuously amazed at how wonderful our birth mother is. We text almost daily and she truly wants what's best for the girls and she has our interests on her mind as well.
The one morning I got a text from her telling us that she'd been thinking and that she's okay with us naming the girls. We would name them regardless, but to know that she feels like we should name them is truly wonderful. At that point we had already decided what their names will be. One will be Emma Noelle and the other Ellie Jayne. We haven't decided if the first one out will for sure be one or the other.
Then this past Monday, she sent a text letting us know that labor may be soon as she lost her plug. I'm not sure if she knows a pregnant woman can lose their mucus plug and have it reform many times before labor actually begins, but it shows that labor is near. Since she feels like it'll be soon, within the next week is what she's guessing, I asked her if she wanted us to be there for the the labor/delivery or if she wanted us to wait until after to come. She texted, "They are your girls, too, so it only feels right for you to be there." I about cried when I read that.
Yesterday I got to go to an ultrasound with her. She asked me to come early because she had other appointments as well prior to the ultrasound and wanted to make sure I'd be with her when it was time.
I got to sit with her as she had a NST. Never having had to have one of those before, I didn't know exactly what it involved. Pretty much it's just monitoring the baby's heartbeats for about twenty minutes. The silly girls were very active and were not happy to have the monitors on them. They kept kicking at them and moving all over the place. One of them got the hiccups during it. Kendra and I just talked about random stuff as we waited for the test to be done with.
Then it was time for the ultrasound. We got to see the girls moving around. One of the girls was facing the wrong way and was too low to really get a good look at her face. The other one I got a profile shot of her. She kept moving her hand up in front of her face, so while we got to see her in 4D, there was never a time that they could print a picture of it. I'm so excited to meet my sweet girls. They both have hair which will be interesting since both of the boys were bald when they were babies.
They did an estimate on their weights. One is just under 4lbs and the other is about 6 ounces heavier being over 4lbs a bit. The doctor said that they are both a good size for the gestational age and that they are growing well. They are both head down ready to go and at this point they won't stop labor.
Kendra texted me later yesterday and said that she forgot to tell me that she's planning pumping and freezing the milk for us to be able to feed the girls with. I hadn't talked to her about that at all and to have her offer to do so was just amazing. I have a friend who had already offered to donate breast milk whenever we adopted, so to know that their own birth mother wants them to have that as well was just wonderful.
I don't want Kendra to feel so empty after placing, so I've made her a quilt. Awhile back I had found some Supergirl fabric that I bought knowing I'd use it for a birth mother blanket when the time came. It took a long time to complete it, but it is now ready to go. I'm also going to take the boys to Build a Bear and have them each make a bear to give Kendra. She's excited that the girls will have big brothers so it's only right that they give her something to show their thanks.
The one morning I got a text from her telling us that she'd been thinking and that she's okay with us naming the girls. We would name them regardless, but to know that she feels like we should name them is truly wonderful. At that point we had already decided what their names will be. One will be Emma Noelle and the other Ellie Jayne. We haven't decided if the first one out will for sure be one or the other.
Then this past Monday, she sent a text letting us know that labor may be soon as she lost her plug. I'm not sure if she knows a pregnant woman can lose their mucus plug and have it reform many times before labor actually begins, but it shows that labor is near. Since she feels like it'll be soon, within the next week is what she's guessing, I asked her if she wanted us to be there for the the labor/delivery or if she wanted us to wait until after to come. She texted, "They are your girls, too, so it only feels right for you to be there." I about cried when I read that.
Yesterday I got to go to an ultrasound with her. She asked me to come early because she had other appointments as well prior to the ultrasound and wanted to make sure I'd be with her when it was time.
I got to sit with her as she had a NST. Never having had to have one of those before, I didn't know exactly what it involved. Pretty much it's just monitoring the baby's heartbeats for about twenty minutes. The silly girls were very active and were not happy to have the monitors on them. They kept kicking at them and moving all over the place. One of them got the hiccups during it. Kendra and I just talked about random stuff as we waited for the test to be done with.
Then it was time for the ultrasound. We got to see the girls moving around. One of the girls was facing the wrong way and was too low to really get a good look at her face. The other one I got a profile shot of her. She kept moving her hand up in front of her face, so while we got to see her in 4D, there was never a time that they could print a picture of it. I'm so excited to meet my sweet girls. They both have hair which will be interesting since both of the boys were bald when they were babies.
They did an estimate on their weights. One is just under 4lbs and the other is about 6 ounces heavier being over 4lbs a bit. The doctor said that they are both a good size for the gestational age and that they are growing well. They are both head down ready to go and at this point they won't stop labor.
Kendra texted me later yesterday and said that she forgot to tell me that she's planning pumping and freezing the milk for us to be able to feed the girls with. I hadn't talked to her about that at all and to have her offer to do so was just amazing. I have a friend who had already offered to donate breast milk whenever we adopted, so to know that their own birth mother wants them to have that as well was just wonderful.
I don't want Kendra to feel so empty after placing, so I've made her a quilt. Awhile back I had found some Supergirl fabric that I bought knowing I'd use it for a birth mother blanket when the time came. It took a long time to complete it, but it is now ready to go. I'm also going to take the boys to Build a Bear and have them each make a bear to give Kendra. She's excited that the girls will have big brothers so it's only right that they give her something to show their thanks.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Incredibly blessed
This past weekend was kind of a whirlwind for us. Before I get into the details of the whirlwind, I need to share some background information. About three weeks ago a friend of mine that lives in Ogden contacted me through yahoo messenger. She asked me how we felt about adopting twins. I told her that we would love to adopt twins. She then proceeded to tell me about her friend's brother's girlfriend who was starting to considering placing her twin girls for adoption. I told her to pass along one of cards and that was that. I talked with her right before fast Sunday, so I chose to fast for her and that if these babies were meant to come to our home that she would be drawn to us.
Weeks passed and we heard nothing. Since she was due in April, I wasn't too concerned, but it's always nice to hear back on a potential adoption lead. I continued to pray for her.
This past Wednesday, my friend asked me if we'd heard anything yet. She had asked her friend and as far as she knew the expectant mother hadn't decided for certain on placing. Then Thursday night rolls around and the expectant mother emails us. She said that she wants her girls to go to a good home and she almost cried when she saw our picture on the card because we look like such a great family. I got the email Friday morning after my boys were at school. My heart was full of so much joy. I immediately contacted my caseworker to let her know she gave me pointers in how to respond. I then proceeded to let my friends in FSA know about the situation and ask for them to pray for us.
My caseworker emailed me back as I was writing a response. I changed a few things and sent the email. I knew from my friend that the expectant mother didn't have a job so I sat around waiting for a response all day. It was torture waiting, wondering if she'd want to meet us. Luckily, I got to have a slight distraction by going on a lunch date with my wonderful husband. We were both in shock that a potential birth mother had actually contacted us. I finally got an email back right around dinner time.
Her name is Kendra and she said that she'd love to meet us and the boys. She told me that she's 24 and has a three year old son who is being cared for by her mother. She told me she that she's due April 16th, and that she's 32 weeks pregnant and that she's already had shots to stop contractions, so it could be soon. She told me about upcoming ultrasound appointments and that she'd give us everything she has for the girls even though it's not much. She then gave me her phone number and told me to text her first so she'd know what the number was. Since it was dinner time I didn't call her right then. I then went to Relief Society after dinner and knew I wouldn't be calling her when I got back from that.
I had a fun time at Relief Society and let the women there know about the possibility. I emailed my caseworker to let her know we'd gotten a response and that she wanted to meet us when I got home from Relief Society. I told her that it seems like she already has her mind set on us by the things she said, but she hadn't gave a definite "I want to place my twin girls with your family".
Saturday morning, we went to the church for Brandon's baptism preview. Once we were home, it took me awhile to get enough courage to call Kendra. It was around 11:30am when I called and she had just woken up from a nap. She was still a little groggy, but when I asked her if she wanted to meet up, she told me that she just needed to shower and then could do so. I had been thinking dinner at the earliest or maybe this week sometime. She must have felt the need to meet us asap,so we met for lunch at 1pm at a Denny's, her choice.
It was great to actually meet her. We talked about her interests, her plans for the future, then we moved into more adoption related stuff. We let her know that we were comfortable with an open adoption as much as she was. If she's okay with visits at a neutral place, we are fine with that, if that makes her uncomfortable, we won't push it. She said she wants at least pictures so she can make sure they are doing well. She kept saying she wants them to go to a good home, but once again she hadn't said that she wanted to place with us. She was implying it, but I wanted to be sure.
The Denny's had a crane machine and the boys wanted to try it out. I happened to actually have some quarters with me, so Kevin went over to help them with the game which left Kendra and me alone at the table. I asked her if she felt comfortable with us. She told me that she did and that her friends had introduced her to other adoptive couples and none of them felt right. She told me that one of these other couples even had the audacity to tell her that they'd be willing to adopt one of the girls. She told me she just looked at them thinking, "Ummm, hello, there's two of them in there." So, at that point I knew that she was serious about placing her sweet twin girls with us. Soon after that we were finished with eating and it was time for us to part ways. I asked her if I could hug her and she said yes. I thanked her and she thanked us for being willing to take care of her girls. She invited me to her next ultrasound appointment on March 2nd.
On our drive home, Kevin and I were in a state of shock. A beautiful birth mom had actually chosen us to place twin girls with. It's amazing. Heavenly Father has truly blessed us. I had a feeling we'd have twins and at least one would be a girl. When I had miscarried twins in between Brandon and Edward I had the distinct impression that I would still get to raise those twins in this life. I later had a dream about them and they were girls. Of course at the time I just assumed that I'd get pregnant with twins again. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought they would come to our family through adoption.
The birth father of these twin girls is of Irish decent with blond hair and blue eyes, and Kendra's son has blond hair, so it's quite possible that these sweet little girls will fit in with our family in regards to how they look. It's really all amazing and Heavenly Father is so good to us. His plan is always grander than our own even when we can't see it. I have grown much through this and I am grateful to have had the trial of infertility and waiting to adopt. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's the path we had to take to have these sweet girls come to our home.
I'm looking forward to seeing them via ultrasound in a little over a week. It's so incredibly amazing.
Weeks passed and we heard nothing. Since she was due in April, I wasn't too concerned, but it's always nice to hear back on a potential adoption lead. I continued to pray for her.
This past Wednesday, my friend asked me if we'd heard anything yet. She had asked her friend and as far as she knew the expectant mother hadn't decided for certain on placing. Then Thursday night rolls around and the expectant mother emails us. She said that she wants her girls to go to a good home and she almost cried when she saw our picture on the card because we look like such a great family. I got the email Friday morning after my boys were at school. My heart was full of so much joy. I immediately contacted my caseworker to let her know she gave me pointers in how to respond. I then proceeded to let my friends in FSA know about the situation and ask for them to pray for us.
My caseworker emailed me back as I was writing a response. I changed a few things and sent the email. I knew from my friend that the expectant mother didn't have a job so I sat around waiting for a response all day. It was torture waiting, wondering if she'd want to meet us. Luckily, I got to have a slight distraction by going on a lunch date with my wonderful husband. We were both in shock that a potential birth mother had actually contacted us. I finally got an email back right around dinner time.
Her name is Kendra and she said that she'd love to meet us and the boys. She told me that she's 24 and has a three year old son who is being cared for by her mother. She told me she that she's due April 16th, and that she's 32 weeks pregnant and that she's already had shots to stop contractions, so it could be soon. She told me about upcoming ultrasound appointments and that she'd give us everything she has for the girls even though it's not much. She then gave me her phone number and told me to text her first so she'd know what the number was. Since it was dinner time I didn't call her right then. I then went to Relief Society after dinner and knew I wouldn't be calling her when I got back from that.
I had a fun time at Relief Society and let the women there know about the possibility. I emailed my caseworker to let her know we'd gotten a response and that she wanted to meet us when I got home from Relief Society. I told her that it seems like she already has her mind set on us by the things she said, but she hadn't gave a definite "I want to place my twin girls with your family".
Saturday morning, we went to the church for Brandon's baptism preview. Once we were home, it took me awhile to get enough courage to call Kendra. It was around 11:30am when I called and she had just woken up from a nap. She was still a little groggy, but when I asked her if she wanted to meet up, she told me that she just needed to shower and then could do so. I had been thinking dinner at the earliest or maybe this week sometime. She must have felt the need to meet us asap,so we met for lunch at 1pm at a Denny's, her choice.
It was great to actually meet her. We talked about her interests, her plans for the future, then we moved into more adoption related stuff. We let her know that we were comfortable with an open adoption as much as she was. If she's okay with visits at a neutral place, we are fine with that, if that makes her uncomfortable, we won't push it. She said she wants at least pictures so she can make sure they are doing well. She kept saying she wants them to go to a good home, but once again she hadn't said that she wanted to place with us. She was implying it, but I wanted to be sure.
The Denny's had a crane machine and the boys wanted to try it out. I happened to actually have some quarters with me, so Kevin went over to help them with the game which left Kendra and me alone at the table. I asked her if she felt comfortable with us. She told me that she did and that her friends had introduced her to other adoptive couples and none of them felt right. She told me that one of these other couples even had the audacity to tell her that they'd be willing to adopt one of the girls. She told me she just looked at them thinking, "Ummm, hello, there's two of them in there." So, at that point I knew that she was serious about placing her sweet twin girls with us. Soon after that we were finished with eating and it was time for us to part ways. I asked her if I could hug her and she said yes. I thanked her and she thanked us for being willing to take care of her girls. She invited me to her next ultrasound appointment on March 2nd.
On our drive home, Kevin and I were in a state of shock. A beautiful birth mom had actually chosen us to place twin girls with. It's amazing. Heavenly Father has truly blessed us. I had a feeling we'd have twins and at least one would be a girl. When I had miscarried twins in between Brandon and Edward I had the distinct impression that I would still get to raise those twins in this life. I later had a dream about them and they were girls. Of course at the time I just assumed that I'd get pregnant with twins again. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought they would come to our family through adoption.
The birth father of these twin girls is of Irish decent with blond hair and blue eyes, and Kendra's son has blond hair, so it's quite possible that these sweet little girls will fit in with our family in regards to how they look. It's really all amazing and Heavenly Father is so good to us. His plan is always grander than our own even when we can't see it. I have grown much through this and I am grateful to have had the trial of infertility and waiting to adopt. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's the path we had to take to have these sweet girls come to our home.
I'm looking forward to seeing them via ultrasound in a little over a week. It's so incredibly amazing.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pregnant woman all around...
It seems like every day I hear of one or two people who I know that are pregnant. Yes, I'm happy for them, but also insanely jealous. While I've had the wonderful blessing to carry two children to term, my heart hurts that I'll never have that blessing again. It's so hard to offer my congrats to them when I know that I can't join them.
We were led by a loving Heavenly Father to adoption as a way to help our family grow. Adoption really is a wonderful thing, but it's hard to wait and it's hard to hear the voices of those who are completely against adoption. My mom recently tried to give a pass along card to an old youth Sunday school teacher of mine and she refused it. Apparently her daughter recently placed for adoption and now she is bitter that her daughter did so. She thinks that she should have been able to save the day and raise her grandchild, but somewhere in her head she knew that wouldn't be fair to the child since she's in her fifties already.
I cling to the promise I received in a blessing that Heavenly Father is preparing a baby for us. It's the only hope I have left of having another baby join our family. Still, it's a matter of when and that I don't know the answer to. While reading an adoption blog I ran across this quote from President Uctdorf:
"Patience is not passive resignation nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can-working, hoping, exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our heart are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring, it is enduring well!"
I am trying to do what he says patience is, but it is very hard. It's especially hard when it's such a righteous desire to have our family grow. We are doing all we can to try to help the situation. We have an adoption blog, we sent out adoption pass along cards to everyone we sent a Christmas card to, I've been leaving those same cards everywhere (with the check at restaurants, the laundromat, etc), we have a facebook page regarding our adoption, and I've been handing out the cards to other people I run across as has Kevin, and we are praying. There's not really anything else we can do at the moment unless someone gifts us with a lot of money so we can use multiple agencies. For the time being,we have to stay with LDS Family Services to adopt. Enduring this trial can be very hard, but I know with the Lord's help, we'll get through it and eventually have another little one in our family.
We were led by a loving Heavenly Father to adoption as a way to help our family grow. Adoption really is a wonderful thing, but it's hard to wait and it's hard to hear the voices of those who are completely against adoption. My mom recently tried to give a pass along card to an old youth Sunday school teacher of mine and she refused it. Apparently her daughter recently placed for adoption and now she is bitter that her daughter did so. She thinks that she should have been able to save the day and raise her grandchild, but somewhere in her head she knew that wouldn't be fair to the child since she's in her fifties already.
I cling to the promise I received in a blessing that Heavenly Father is preparing a baby for us. It's the only hope I have left of having another baby join our family. Still, it's a matter of when and that I don't know the answer to. While reading an adoption blog I ran across this quote from President Uctdorf:
"Patience is not passive resignation nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can-working, hoping, exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our heart are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring, it is enduring well!"
I am trying to do what he says patience is, but it is very hard. It's especially hard when it's such a righteous desire to have our family grow. We are doing all we can to try to help the situation. We have an adoption blog, we sent out adoption pass along cards to everyone we sent a Christmas card to, I've been leaving those same cards everywhere (with the check at restaurants, the laundromat, etc), we have a facebook page regarding our adoption, and I've been handing out the cards to other people I run across as has Kevin, and we are praying. There's not really anything else we can do at the moment unless someone gifts us with a lot of money so we can use multiple agencies. For the time being,we have to stay with LDS Family Services to adopt. Enduring this trial can be very hard, but I know with the Lord's help, we'll get through it and eventually have another little one in our family.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Spreading the Word
One of the best things a couple can do to help be able to adopt sooner is by spreading the word that they are trying to adopt. A co-worker, friend, or extended family member may come across an expectant mother who is considering placing for adoption and they can pass along your info to them.
We've been spreading the word as much as we can and we are still waiting. We know that Heavenly Father has a baby that He's preparing to send our way, we just have to wait for the right time (whenever that may be).
So, I figured, I might as well help spread the word about some of my friends who are also trying to adopt:
Levi and Kristalee are a very cute couple who were blessed to have a biological child after being told it wasn't possible. They want to add to their family through adoption. Check out their profile and pass it along to anyone who is considering placing for adoption. https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24230928/ourMessage.jsf
Jeff and Elizabeth are so much fun to be around! They have already been blessed to have three children through adoption and are hoping to add another. https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24926196/ourMessage.jsf
I'm sure I'm forgetting someone and if I remember them, I'll add them at a later time. There is of course our profile as well:
Kevin and Tami https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/23392899/ourMessage.jsf
We've been spreading the word as much as we can and we are still waiting. We know that Heavenly Father has a baby that He's preparing to send our way, we just have to wait for the right time (whenever that may be).
So, I figured, I might as well help spread the word about some of my friends who are also trying to adopt:
Levi and Kristalee are a very cute couple who were blessed to have a biological child after being told it wasn't possible. They want to add to their family through adoption. Check out their profile and pass it along to anyone who is considering placing for adoption. https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24230928/ourMessage.jsf
Jeff and Elizabeth are so much fun to be around! They have already been blessed to have three children through adoption and are hoping to add another. https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24926196/ourMessage.jsf
I'm sure I'm forgetting someone and if I remember them, I'll add them at a later time. There is of course our profile as well:
Kevin and Tami https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/23392899/ourMessage.jsf
Sunday, October 31, 2010
It's almost a new month and...
November is
It's a month to help spread the word about adoption, a month to help others to be able to adopt by passing along profiles to friends and family, a month to help support expectant mothers who are considering adoption for their child, and a month to help get rid of the negative connotations that surround adoption.
While November doesn't technically start until tomorrow, I figured I'd start a day early. Kevin and I are still waiting for a wonderful birth mother to choose us to place her baby with through adoption. We've been waiting for over a year. Through blessings of comfort, I've been promised that Heavenly Father is preparing a baby for us. In that blessing I was not told how soon that baby will be placed in our home, but I trust in my lovingly Heavenly Father and will wait patiently for the child that He is guiding to our home.
While I've been disappointed a lot through this waiting time in the adoption process, I have grown closer to my Heavenly Father. Adoption is a roller coaster of emotions, yet when I remember to turn to Heavenly Father in prayer, I am supported and lifted up through this trial -- this test of patience. The situation that I last posted about hasn't changed so far that I know of. The birth mother is choosing to not place her baby for adoption. This is her right to choose and I don't hold any hard feelings against her in the least. If I was in her place, I may choose the same as her. I wish she could understand that she most likely won't be able to parent her child since DSFS will be called.
Last night while I was waiting for trick or treaters to come to our house, I had a strong impression to fast and pray for this sweet birth mother in her time of need. She will be having her baby on Monday for certain (whether she's being induced or if it's by scheduled c-section, I'm unsure). As soon as the baby is born, DCFS will be called and they will come and determine if this baby will for sure be going into the foster care system. From what I've learned, it's likely, but I don't know for sure. My heart goes out to her. To have your baby taken without really having a say would be hard. I am not sure if this birth mother will be able to receive inspiration that changes her mind, but either way, she'll be able to have the comfort and support of Heavenly Father due in part to me following the prompting to fast and pray for her. If she does end up choosing to place, it'd be nice if she chose us, but she may not and I'm okay with that. I know that Heavenly Father knows when the baby that's meant to be in our family will be here and I'm trusting in Him to help support us as we wait. It may be this baby and maybe we'll be surprised in a couple days with a call.
I have such a great love for any expectant mother who considers adoption for their child, whether they choose to place or parent. It's a tough decision. I respect those who choose to place their baby in order to give their baby a better life than if they chose to parent. At the same time as they are giving their baby a better life, they are also blessing an adoptive couple who in a lot of cases wouldn't be able to have a baby in their home. This is a great gift. These women have such a hard decision to make at a time when they may feel like they've already failed by being in the situation they are in. It is not okay for us to look down on women who choose to place. They are not taking the easy way out. They are thinking about their baby's future and what they want for that baby. They realize that they will not be able to provide the type of home they want for their baby and so they place their baby into a loving couple's arms; a couple who will be able to provide the type of home that they want their baby to have. If you know of anyone who is considering placing for adoption, please support them no matter what they decide to do. They need your love and support.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Never Ending Rollercoaster
Adoption is very hard emotionally. Never knowing when or if, for that matter, you'll be chosen by a birth mother. Throw in the fact occasionally, you actually know a birth mother is looking at your profile and then things get crazy.
Several months ago we had decided to send our profile to birth parents in another state. This one would have been a private adoption through an attorney instead of through our agency. We waited all weekend to hear if we were chosen. When we got an email back from the attorney, it turned out he had never received our email with the profile in it even though my email had it in the "sent" folder. That was heart breaking.
So, then our year mark of waiting rolls around. We had to have the agency come back to our house to update our home study. The whirlwind of making sure everything is in order was just crazy.
Fast forward to last Thursday night while at one of my boys' soccer games. I get a phone call from my friend that is a social worker at a hospital. She calls to let me know that there is an expectant mother who is considering placing for adoption and she's due Oct 31st with a baby girl. She tells me that she'll be calling LDSFS in the morning to have them come and speak with her. Since the hospital is about 30 minutes north of here, the LDSFS she would be calling would not have our profile. I email our caseworker and she told me that in order for my profile to be included, I'd have to drive it up there.
Friday afternoon, I drive it up. Friday night, the expectant mother has talked with LDSFS and has agreed to look at profiles. Our profile was in her hand. All weekend goes by -- we hear nothing regarding the situation. Wednesday rolls around and I talk with my friend. She will be working that day and said she'd check into the situation.
After she checks into the situation, I learn more about what's going on and the situation in general. The expectant mom (e-mom) was abused and dropped on her head as a child. She was put into foster care, but is now 18, so she's out of the system. Her mental state isn't completely there due to the abuse. The social workers at the hospital are worried she would be neglectful of the baby and will call DCFS if she chooses not to place the baby for adoption.
So, the bio mom of the e-mom randomly comes back into the picture this past weekend. She promises the e-mom that she will get an apartment and they can all live together and she will take care of the baby. Because of the past abuse, this won't be allowed, yet somehow e-mom decides that is what she'll do. She tells LDSFS that she'll be having her bio mom take care of the baby and isn't going to place for adoption. LDSFS takes the profiles back unless e-mom decides she wants to consider adoption again. LDSFS is checking in with the e-mom daily, but at the moment it sounds like as soon as the baby is born, DCFS will be called. They will come and assess the situation and most likely put the baby into foster care. If the birth mother can't follow through on things (which is very likely she won't), then the baby will be placed for adoption through the foster/adopt program and it'll be a closed adoption where the e-mom won't have contact with the baby.
If she decides she wants to place, then she can choose an open adoption and at least get pictures and letters. We are willing to have even have visits with her at a neutral place (park, restaurant, mall, etc), but she won't have that if DCFS takes the baby.
It's just so frustrating to know that this baby is being born into such a hard situation. My heart goes out to the e-mom being in such a situation. I just hope she'll be able to finally understand the seriousness of her situation and decide to look at profiles again. She's due this Sunday, she doesn't have much time, even if she does go over her due date. It'd be easier for me to know that the baby was going to another family than to know that it'll go into the foster system.
As you can tell, just this past week has been an emotional roller coaster. I have no idea when this portion of the ups and downs will come to an end, but I have a feeling that this is not the end of our adoption roller coaster.
Several months ago we had decided to send our profile to birth parents in another state. This one would have been a private adoption through an attorney instead of through our agency. We waited all weekend to hear if we were chosen. When we got an email back from the attorney, it turned out he had never received our email with the profile in it even though my email had it in the "sent" folder. That was heart breaking.
So, then our year mark of waiting rolls around. We had to have the agency come back to our house to update our home study. The whirlwind of making sure everything is in order was just crazy.
Fast forward to last Thursday night while at one of my boys' soccer games. I get a phone call from my friend that is a social worker at a hospital. She calls to let me know that there is an expectant mother who is considering placing for adoption and she's due Oct 31st with a baby girl. She tells me that she'll be calling LDSFS in the morning to have them come and speak with her. Since the hospital is about 30 minutes north of here, the LDSFS she would be calling would not have our profile. I email our caseworker and she told me that in order for my profile to be included, I'd have to drive it up there.
Friday afternoon, I drive it up. Friday night, the expectant mother has talked with LDSFS and has agreed to look at profiles. Our profile was in her hand. All weekend goes by -- we hear nothing regarding the situation. Wednesday rolls around and I talk with my friend. She will be working that day and said she'd check into the situation.
After she checks into the situation, I learn more about what's going on and the situation in general. The expectant mom (e-mom) was abused and dropped on her head as a child. She was put into foster care, but is now 18, so she's out of the system. Her mental state isn't completely there due to the abuse. The social workers at the hospital are worried she would be neglectful of the baby and will call DCFS if she chooses not to place the baby for adoption.
So, the bio mom of the e-mom randomly comes back into the picture this past weekend. She promises the e-mom that she will get an apartment and they can all live together and she will take care of the baby. Because of the past abuse, this won't be allowed, yet somehow e-mom decides that is what she'll do. She tells LDSFS that she'll be having her bio mom take care of the baby and isn't going to place for adoption. LDSFS takes the profiles back unless e-mom decides she wants to consider adoption again. LDSFS is checking in with the e-mom daily, but at the moment it sounds like as soon as the baby is born, DCFS will be called. They will come and assess the situation and most likely put the baby into foster care. If the birth mother can't follow through on things (which is very likely she won't), then the baby will be placed for adoption through the foster/adopt program and it'll be a closed adoption where the e-mom won't have contact with the baby.
If she decides she wants to place, then she can choose an open adoption and at least get pictures and letters. We are willing to have even have visits with her at a neutral place (park, restaurant, mall, etc), but she won't have that if DCFS takes the baby.
It's just so frustrating to know that this baby is being born into such a hard situation. My heart goes out to the e-mom being in such a situation. I just hope she'll be able to finally understand the seriousness of her situation and decide to look at profiles again. She's due this Sunday, she doesn't have much time, even if she does go over her due date. It'd be easier for me to know that the baby was going to another family than to know that it'll go into the foster system.
As you can tell, just this past week has been an emotional roller coaster. I have no idea when this portion of the ups and downs will come to an end, but I have a feeling that this is not the end of our adoption roller coaster.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Created a Different Blog
While I'll still be occasionally blogging here, I recently created a blog for birth parents to get to know our family better, so that will probably get a bit more attention than here. You are more than welcome to pass along the new blog to anyone who is considering to place their baby for adoption. Here's the link:
http://kevinandtamifun.blogspot.com/
http://kevinandtamifun.blogspot.com/
Friday, August 6, 2010
Dear Baby
Dear Baby,
While I don't know if you are even conceived yet, I have such great love for you. I know that you will find our family through a wonderful birth mother. We just have to be patient and wait for you to get here.
While we wait, we are doing things to help get ready for you. We have a room that has been dubbed "the baby room". While it's not much right now, it's where you will sleep when you arrive. We will put up a crib and paint the walls a pretty color. It'll be a nice place for you to be.
Your big brothers are excited for you to arrive and both have asked me if you would be here "tomorrow". Of course, I told them that you wouldn't be and that I didn't know when you would be here. It's hard for little boys to have to wait and wait and wait.
Your dad and I are saving money so that we won't have to borrow much or any by the time you find us in order to adopt you. We love you very much and no matter the cost want you to be in our family forever.
I am attached to a breast pump every 2-3 hours for 15-20 minutes to re-lactate so that by the time you get here, I'll be able to feed you the way nature intended. It's only been a couple weeks, but there's drops of milk already. I'm just hoping there will be more than just drops for you when you are here.
We are thinking of names for you. We don't know if you'll be a boy or a girl or if we'll get twins, but we like to think of possible names for you. I'm kinda liking Adelaide if you are a girl. Not sure on a boy's name just yet, but don't you worry, if you are a boy, we'll come up with the perfect name for you.
We have a nice stash of cloth diapers waiting for your little tushie. Cloth is much more comfortable than disposable/paper diapers and I know you'll appreciate them. If you are a boy we already have cloths for you. If you are a girl, we have a few, but a friend has offered to let us use clothes that her baby wore, so we are set either way.
Just remember that we love you and are waiting for you to join our family.
Lots of love,
Your mom and dad
While I don't know if you are even conceived yet, I have such great love for you. I know that you will find our family through a wonderful birth mother. We just have to be patient and wait for you to get here.
While we wait, we are doing things to help get ready for you. We have a room that has been dubbed "the baby room". While it's not much right now, it's where you will sleep when you arrive. We will put up a crib and paint the walls a pretty color. It'll be a nice place for you to be.
Your big brothers are excited for you to arrive and both have asked me if you would be here "tomorrow". Of course, I told them that you wouldn't be and that I didn't know when you would be here. It's hard for little boys to have to wait and wait and wait.
Your dad and I are saving money so that we won't have to borrow much or any by the time you find us in order to adopt you. We love you very much and no matter the cost want you to be in our family forever.
I am attached to a breast pump every 2-3 hours for 15-20 minutes to re-lactate so that by the time you get here, I'll be able to feed you the way nature intended. It's only been a couple weeks, but there's drops of milk already. I'm just hoping there will be more than just drops for you when you are here.
We are thinking of names for you. We don't know if you'll be a boy or a girl or if we'll get twins, but we like to think of possible names for you. I'm kinda liking Adelaide if you are a girl. Not sure on a boy's name just yet, but don't you worry, if you are a boy, we'll come up with the perfect name for you.
We have a nice stash of cloth diapers waiting for your little tushie. Cloth is much more comfortable than disposable/paper diapers and I know you'll appreciate them. If you are a boy we already have cloths for you. If you are a girl, we have a few, but a friend has offered to let us use clothes that her baby wore, so we are set either way.
Just remember that we love you and are waiting for you to join our family.
Lots of love,
Your mom and dad
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Given another option
After my last post, I was surprised by the sense of peace I was able to have concerning everything. I know that it was through my prayers and the prayers of others that I was strengthened to be able to carry on relatively quick.
Tuesday, we met with the director of our agency. We had been having issues with our caseworker and requested a change. He felt we should discuss things in person instead of just through the email I had sent. Seemed pointless to me, but we will be having a new caseworker soonish. I hope our new caseworker will be able to really get to know us and not just know us on paper like our last caseworker. There's a big difference between really knowing someone and just knowing them by what they wrote to answer their home study/getting to know us questions.
Then today, after I posted a thing on our adoption facebook page about others printing our profile, especially if they are in the health care field, I got a message from a facebook friend. I met this friend when I was pregnant with Brandon and have remained friends with her since. She asked if we had ever considered surrogacy. I told her that I had briefly thought about it, but that it didn't feel like the path we should pursue at this time. I also explained to her that surrogacy is essentially adoption whether or not the child being carried has the same genetics as the couple that is having the surrogate carry the child. By law, the child a surrogate carries is her child regardless of genetics. Adoption paperwork still has to be filled out and filed in order for that child to be the couple's child. Our insurance also will not cover IVF for surrogacy even though it covers IVF otherwise. That means for just a chance that a surrogate to carry a child for us, we would be out at least $10K. That's partly why we decided not to pursue fertility treatments -- it's just a chance of getting pregnant/having a child.
Anyway, after I explained surrogacy to her, she wrote back and let me know that she'd been considering surrogacy for us. That she was willing to carry a child for us if we decided to go that route. I was very touched that she'd offer. I don't feel it's the right direction for us, but to have that offer was a glimmer of hope of other options out there.
I know that Heavenly Father wants us to adopt and we just need to be patient and remember to listen and heed all the promptings we receive even if they seem like it's just us being paranoid. I had felt like I should have emailed the attorney Friday morning to check to see if he had received our profile, yet I thought I was being paranoid. Now I know that it was really a prompting. It's so easy to dismiss little promptings like that. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and while our path to have another child added to our family has been and continues to be long, I know that it'll end with a child in our arms.
Tuesday, we met with the director of our agency. We had been having issues with our caseworker and requested a change. He felt we should discuss things in person instead of just through the email I had sent. Seemed pointless to me, but we will be having a new caseworker soonish. I hope our new caseworker will be able to really get to know us and not just know us on paper like our last caseworker. There's a big difference between really knowing someone and just knowing them by what they wrote to answer their home study/getting to know us questions.
Then today, after I posted a thing on our adoption facebook page about others printing our profile, especially if they are in the health care field, I got a message from a facebook friend. I met this friend when I was pregnant with Brandon and have remained friends with her since. She asked if we had ever considered surrogacy. I told her that I had briefly thought about it, but that it didn't feel like the path we should pursue at this time. I also explained to her that surrogacy is essentially adoption whether or not the child being carried has the same genetics as the couple that is having the surrogate carry the child. By law, the child a surrogate carries is her child regardless of genetics. Adoption paperwork still has to be filled out and filed in order for that child to be the couple's child. Our insurance also will not cover IVF for surrogacy even though it covers IVF otherwise. That means for just a chance that a surrogate to carry a child for us, we would be out at least $10K. That's partly why we decided not to pursue fertility treatments -- it's just a chance of getting pregnant/having a child.
Anyway, after I explained surrogacy to her, she wrote back and let me know that she'd been considering surrogacy for us. That she was willing to carry a child for us if we decided to go that route. I was very touched that she'd offer. I don't feel it's the right direction for us, but to have that offer was a glimmer of hope of other options out there.
I know that Heavenly Father wants us to adopt and we just need to be patient and remember to listen and heed all the promptings we receive even if they seem like it's just us being paranoid. I had felt like I should have emailed the attorney Friday morning to check to see if he had received our profile, yet I thought I was being paranoid. Now I know that it was really a prompting. It's so easy to dismiss little promptings like that. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and while our path to have another child added to our family has been and continues to be long, I know that it'll end with a child in our arms.
Monday, July 19, 2010
My heart is broken (again)
This past weekend was so heart wrenching waiting to hear. It turns out that while we sent the email, the attorney actually never received it. That means that our profile was never even being considered and the birth parents have chosen another family. It gets even more interesting, though. The birth parents who absolutely did not want to work with an agency has in fact been working with an agency, so they most likely wouldn't have even been using the law firm for the adoption. My heart is broken. How many times does it have to be broken before our baby finds his/her way to our home?
--Tami
--Tami
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Adoption Ups and Downs
Thursday night I received a call from LDS Family Services about an adoption situation. She asked if we wanted to pursue it as it'd be a private adoption since the birth parents did not want to go through an agency. I felt like it might be something we should do, so I told her to send me the email regarding it and then I'd discuss it with Kevin.
After praying, Kevin and I felt like it we were supposed to pursue it and I emailed the attorney over the adoption with the link to our profile as per the directions of LDSFS in regards to this situation.
The situation is a mother in Georgia who is married and has four children. They have already placed one child previously and are committed to placing this one as well. The baby will be born this coming Thursday via c-section. The mother has not had drugs or alcohol and the baby is thought to be of good health. The gender is unknown. Only a few profiles were going to be shown to this couple, so our chances of being chosen were higher.
Thursday night I was tired, but my brain would not shut off due to all the thoughts running through my head on this possible adoption. It's such short notice so I started thinking about baby names for both genders -- we need a new crib since ours is a drop down and while it's not one that has been recalled, I don't trust side-drop cribs anymore -- if it's a girl, we don't have any girl clothes (I've been assured we are covered for that one from a friend) -- we'll have to have someone watch the boys while we travel to Georgia -- and a million other thoughts ran through my head making it impossible to fall asleep until much later.
I woke up Friday feeling excited for the possibility to finally have a baby in our arms after the years of secondary infertility and the wait it's been so far in our adoption process with the incompetent case worker. I had promised the boys we would go to Lagoon and we were meeting up with a friend from Brandon's school class so we went. I had my phone with me and I kept hearing it ring even though it wasn't. It was just hopeful thoughts of them calling to tell us to make plans on traveling to Georgia. As the day wore on, I began to feel less excited. Have they decided on someone else? Will they even let us know if they choose someone else or will we just be left hanging?
Today, I've answered questions friends have had in regards to the situation and that we still haven't heard back. As it's gotten later today, I've begun to realize we most likely were not chosen and that we won't hear back at all. There's still that small part of me that hopes the birth parents just haven't chosen or they have but the news won't be passed on to us until Monday since it's the weekend. Adoption is such a roller coaster of emotions. I hope I will be able to post that we really were chosen, but it's not looking like it. So, we go back to waiting.
We have an appointment with the director of our agency on Tuesday morning to discuss a new caseworker and such. I had written to him and let him know how displeased we were with our current caseworker. Instead of just changing caseworkers like I had wanted, he felt the need to meet with us in regards to the situation. They did have a different caseworker call to tell us about the above adoption situation, so maybe she'll be our new caseworker. I'm not sure. I just feel heartbroken. I want to have another baby in our family. Ed's five now and we started trying to have another one just before he was one. I don't know how much more my poor heart can take.
After praying, Kevin and I felt like it we were supposed to pursue it and I emailed the attorney over the adoption with the link to our profile as per the directions of LDSFS in regards to this situation.
The situation is a mother in Georgia who is married and has four children. They have already placed one child previously and are committed to placing this one as well. The baby will be born this coming Thursday via c-section. The mother has not had drugs or alcohol and the baby is thought to be of good health. The gender is unknown. Only a few profiles were going to be shown to this couple, so our chances of being chosen were higher.
Thursday night I was tired, but my brain would not shut off due to all the thoughts running through my head on this possible adoption. It's such short notice so I started thinking about baby names for both genders -- we need a new crib since ours is a drop down and while it's not one that has been recalled, I don't trust side-drop cribs anymore -- if it's a girl, we don't have any girl clothes (I've been assured we are covered for that one from a friend) -- we'll have to have someone watch the boys while we travel to Georgia -- and a million other thoughts ran through my head making it impossible to fall asleep until much later.
I woke up Friday feeling excited for the possibility to finally have a baby in our arms after the years of secondary infertility and the wait it's been so far in our adoption process with the incompetent case worker. I had promised the boys we would go to Lagoon and we were meeting up with a friend from Brandon's school class so we went. I had my phone with me and I kept hearing it ring even though it wasn't. It was just hopeful thoughts of them calling to tell us to make plans on traveling to Georgia. As the day wore on, I began to feel less excited. Have they decided on someone else? Will they even let us know if they choose someone else or will we just be left hanging?
Today, I've answered questions friends have had in regards to the situation and that we still haven't heard back. As it's gotten later today, I've begun to realize we most likely were not chosen and that we won't hear back at all. There's still that small part of me that hopes the birth parents just haven't chosen or they have but the news won't be passed on to us until Monday since it's the weekend. Adoption is such a roller coaster of emotions. I hope I will be able to post that we really were chosen, but it's not looking like it. So, we go back to waiting.
We have an appointment with the director of our agency on Tuesday morning to discuss a new caseworker and such. I had written to him and let him know how displeased we were with our current caseworker. Instead of just changing caseworkers like I had wanted, he felt the need to meet with us in regards to the situation. They did have a different caseworker call to tell us about the above adoption situation, so maybe she'll be our new caseworker. I'm not sure. I just feel heartbroken. I want to have another baby in our family. Ed's five now and we started trying to have another one just before he was one. I don't know how much more my poor heart can take.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Amazed at How Far He's Come
I meant to write about this sooner, but things have been kinda busy around here.
So, this past Saturday, our family was running errands and we went out to lunch at Five Guys Burgers and Fries while we were out. Kevin pointed out a mom at the next table over that was wearing an autism awareness t-shirt. It made me smile since when Brandon was younger, I kinda wanted to get one of those. Then a little bit later, we started to hear some shrieking coming from that table. I just laughed and told Kevin that now we knew which child it was that had autism. He mentioned that just prior to the child shrieking, he had been flapping his hands -- a common way that children with autism self-stimulate.
At that point, I realized just how noisy the restaurant actually was and was telling Kevin that it was probably too loud for the poor kid. That brought my thoughts back to when Brandon was two. We invited the extended family out to Red Robin for his birthday celebration. At that point in time, we didn't know he had autism. We were perplexed as to why he wouldn't sit down and eat. It wasn't just the normal bounciness of young children. He was pacing the table and making loud noises. We had never seen him acting so strange. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, so looking back I can understand what was going on since we learned that he had autism. The restaurant was way too noisy for him. There were too many people, too much noise, and the lights were too bright for my little guy. He was majorly overstimulated and couldn't sit to eat, he needed to pace to cope with the sensory overload.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. The noise was not bothering him at all. He was sitting in his chair, eating his food, and being silly with Edward. I was just so amazed and so grateful that we were able to learn what was causing his odd behavior and that we were able to get him the help he needed so he can function so well now.
He still has times where he gets overstimulated and he'll shut down a bit now, but he's learned how to cope with it much easier.
Last night, we attended the Utah Symphony/Utah Opera's concert for families with children with autism. It was wonderful. A bit noisier and bouncier than other concerts we have attended, but it was so great to see all the children with autism enjoying a concert that they might not otherwise be able to attend due to their disability. Brandon loved being able to bounce during the William Tell Overture (as did a lot of the other children). Utah Symphony/Utah Opera put this on for free every year. They said that this was the 10th year they've done it and it was the first time we've attended it. Next year it'll be in January if any of you were wondering about next year's.
I'm very grateful for Brandon. His autism brings a new point of view on the world and I'm lucky to have been chosen to be his mother by a loving Heavenly Father.
So, this past Saturday, our family was running errands and we went out to lunch at Five Guys Burgers and Fries while we were out. Kevin pointed out a mom at the next table over that was wearing an autism awareness t-shirt. It made me smile since when Brandon was younger, I kinda wanted to get one of those. Then a little bit later, we started to hear some shrieking coming from that table. I just laughed and told Kevin that now we knew which child it was that had autism. He mentioned that just prior to the child shrieking, he had been flapping his hands -- a common way that children with autism self-stimulate.
At that point, I realized just how noisy the restaurant actually was and was telling Kevin that it was probably too loud for the poor kid. That brought my thoughts back to when Brandon was two. We invited the extended family out to Red Robin for his birthday celebration. At that point in time, we didn't know he had autism. We were perplexed as to why he wouldn't sit down and eat. It wasn't just the normal bounciness of young children. He was pacing the table and making loud noises. We had never seen him acting so strange. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, so looking back I can understand what was going on since we learned that he had autism. The restaurant was way too noisy for him. There were too many people, too much noise, and the lights were too bright for my little guy. He was majorly overstimulated and couldn't sit to eat, he needed to pace to cope with the sensory overload.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. The noise was not bothering him at all. He was sitting in his chair, eating his food, and being silly with Edward. I was just so amazed and so grateful that we were able to learn what was causing his odd behavior and that we were able to get him the help he needed so he can function so well now.
He still has times where he gets overstimulated and he'll shut down a bit now, but he's learned how to cope with it much easier.
Last night, we attended the Utah Symphony/Utah Opera's concert for families with children with autism. It was wonderful. A bit noisier and bouncier than other concerts we have attended, but it was so great to see all the children with autism enjoying a concert that they might not otherwise be able to attend due to their disability. Brandon loved being able to bounce during the William Tell Overture (as did a lot of the other children). Utah Symphony/Utah Opera put this on for free every year. They said that this was the 10th year they've done it and it was the first time we've attended it. Next year it'll be in January if any of you were wondering about next year's.
I'm very grateful for Brandon. His autism brings a new point of view on the world and I'm lucky to have been chosen to be his mother by a loving Heavenly Father.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Little Ray of Hope
With it being so close to when I lost the twins, I was feeling pretty discouraged about the whole adoption stuff as well. At times it feels like it's not going anywhere.
The one expectant mother I was in contact with is leaning more towards parenting her baby instead of placing. I was also in contact with a different expectant mother through the same message board. She's expecting twin girls due in August and is pretty sure she's placing. However, she doesn't really respond to me when I message her to check how she's doing. So, she's either chosen another family and doesn't know how to tell me or she thinks I'm a psychopath. Either way, it'd be nice to get a response from her just telling me one way or another. Maybe she hasn't chosen a family yet and just doesn't want to really think about it. I don't know. I'm trying not to check on her too often since I don't want her to think I'm just trying to "steal" her babies or something.
Anyway, about the little ray of hope. I finally logged into my account to see how often my adoption profile has been view. The contact page is often not viewed. The last time I had logged in, it told me that it had been viewed 4 times and I knew at least one of those times had been me checking to make sure all the pages worked. This time when I logged in, it said that it had been viewed 9 times. That gives me a little bit of hope to know that expectant mothers who are considering placing for adoption are actually looking at our profile. I know that Heavenly Father's hand is in all of this, but it can get discouraging from time to time. I think the waiting is the hardest part. Prior to being approved for adoption, you at least have some control over how fast it'll be before being approved. The sooner you get everything done that you are supposed to, the sooner you'll be approved. The waiting, however, is just that, waiting and waiting and waiting. I hope that we are chosen soon.
The one expectant mother I was in contact with is leaning more towards parenting her baby instead of placing. I was also in contact with a different expectant mother through the same message board. She's expecting twin girls due in August and is pretty sure she's placing. However, she doesn't really respond to me when I message her to check how she's doing. So, she's either chosen another family and doesn't know how to tell me or she thinks I'm a psychopath. Either way, it'd be nice to get a response from her just telling me one way or another. Maybe she hasn't chosen a family yet and just doesn't want to really think about it. I don't know. I'm trying not to check on her too often since I don't want her to think I'm just trying to "steal" her babies or something.
Anyway, about the little ray of hope. I finally logged into my account to see how often my adoption profile has been view. The contact page is often not viewed. The last time I had logged in, it told me that it had been viewed 4 times and I knew at least one of those times had been me checking to make sure all the pages worked. This time when I logged in, it said that it had been viewed 9 times. That gives me a little bit of hope to know that expectant mothers who are considering placing for adoption are actually looking at our profile. I know that Heavenly Father's hand is in all of this, but it can get discouraging from time to time. I think the waiting is the hardest part. Prior to being approved for adoption, you at least have some control over how fast it'll be before being approved. The sooner you get everything done that you are supposed to, the sooner you'll be approved. The waiting, however, is just that, waiting and waiting and waiting. I hope that we are chosen soon.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Mixed Feelings About Mother's Day
Every year as Mother's Day draws near, I start having very mixed emotions about it. It should be a joyous time when my children and husband show how much they appreciate me. It is that, but at the same time, it's a very, very hard day for me. Six years ago, I had to have an emergency D&C on Mother's Day. I had lost the twins I had been carrying. I didn't even know it was twins until I was losing them. I hadn't had my first appointment with my OB/GYN yet. I was only nine weeks along. That was on of the hardest things I have ever gone through, yet with the help of Heavenly Father, a worthy priesthood holder, and a wonderful blessing of comfort that helped me survive and continue on. I know that I'll be able to raise them someday.
Later that year, I got pregnant with my little Edward. He'll be five years old this July. It's weird to think that if I hadn't lost the twins, I wouldn't have my Edward. He's a joy in my life. He can always make me laugh.
Ironically enough, May 9th (which was Mother's Day in 2004) is also the day that Kevin was paralyzed many years previous. It's a very hard time for the both of us.
I was thinking about my lost babies last night and then today I found out that a friend of mine recently lost the twins she was pregnant with as well. She also had to have an emergency D&C and my heart just went out to her. While her pain is her own, I can fully empathize with her. Losing a child is really hard, no matter what age the child is. I will be praying for her to be able to get through this trial in her life.
Later that year, I got pregnant with my little Edward. He'll be five years old this July. It's weird to think that if I hadn't lost the twins, I wouldn't have my Edward. He's a joy in my life. He can always make me laugh.
Ironically enough, May 9th (which was Mother's Day in 2004) is also the day that Kevin was paralyzed many years previous. It's a very hard time for the both of us.
I was thinking about my lost babies last night and then today I found out that a friend of mine recently lost the twins she was pregnant with as well. She also had to have an emergency D&C and my heart just went out to her. While her pain is her own, I can fully empathize with her. Losing a child is really hard, no matter what age the child is. I will be praying for her to be able to get through this trial in her life.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Possibility
I spend some of my online time on a forum called diaperswappers. I started going there when I was cloth diapering Edward. Since I started sewing things geared towards cloth diapering mamas, I've stayed there ever since. They have a section there for adoption and foster care. An expectant mother posted that she's considering adoption. I responded to her thread helping to ease some of her fears. She was worried no one would want her child since her previous two children are special needs (autism and cerebal palsy).
I felt inspired to send her a private message including a link to Kevin and mine's adoptive couple profile. I didn't do it right away, I waited until the next day, as I was worried about overstepping the bounds of politeness. She read through our profile and said that while she hasn't made the decision to place just yet as she's only 7 weeks along, if she decides to place, she would definitely consider us. She loves that we already have children since it's important for her child to have siblings.
I don't know if anything will happen from it, but there is the possibility that it may.
I felt inspired to send her a private message including a link to Kevin and mine's adoptive couple profile. I didn't do it right away, I waited until the next day, as I was worried about overstepping the bounds of politeness. She read through our profile and said that while she hasn't made the decision to place just yet as she's only 7 weeks along, if she decides to place, she would definitely consider us. She loves that we already have children since it's important for her child to have siblings.
I don't know if anything will happen from it, but there is the possibility that it may.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)